


Left Behind

by Reader Inserts (Bulletproof_love)



Series: UC!Mike [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Agony, Anger, Angst, Angst and Feels, Expectations, F/M, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Love, Past Relationship(s), Rage, Suicide Attempt, Undercover, Walking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 21:02:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15127763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bulletproof_love/pseuds/Reader%20Inserts
Summary: Mike returns from undercover and the first person he wants to see is you.





	Left Behind

 The sun was shining as you stood on the steps of the courthouse, its warming touch bathing your skin as you stared straight ahead unable to tear your gaze away from the dark haired man was standing right in front of you. You couldn’t think, you couldn’t speak, all you could do was stare at Mike Dodds as he tilted his head up to meet your eyes.

        You still couldn’t comprehend it. Mike was here, one hand in the pocket of his black leather jacket, one that you had never seen him wearing before. The sun cascaded across his hair, highlighting the lighter browns in his ebony strands, his jaw lined with rough stubble. He was broader now, more muscular. The white shirt underneath the jacket clung to his firm physique. His green eyes fixated on you, you could see the anguish in them, the hope as he took a step towards you.

        Your hand covered your mouth involuntarily. You could taste the bitterness on your tongue as you recalled how shiny his casket had looked as it was lowered into the ground, how you flinched at the sound of the three volley salute, struggling to keep your composure as the folded flag was handed to his father.

        In an instant you knew. You had worked enough undercover cases during your career, pulled enough of your own ‘disappearances’ to know what had happened. Mike Dodds hadn’t died that day, you hadn’t buried him, the man you grieved for had been still alive all this time…

    You thought of the nights you had spent curled up in bed, burying your face in his pillow inhaling the essence of him, tears trailing down your cheeks. You didn’t remember the first two months after his ‘death’, only that you wandered around in a daze, occasionally sitting behind your desk as you barely functioned.

    Mike was stepping towards you, his hand reaching out, his voice deep and rich as your name rolled off of his tongue.

        You had prayed for this moment, you had wished for it and in your dreams you had always envisioned that you would run into his arms and never let him go…

    Instead there was rage. It was violent and unadulterated as it flushed through your body, tearing at your insides as you faced him.

    You remembered that night…

    The night you had sat in his apartment crippled by grief and darkness. That voicemail, the last one that he had left you ringing in your ears as you sat on Mike’s side of the bed, your service pistol resting in your lap. The half empty bottle of whiskey strewn across the sheets.

    You had planned to end it that night, to join Mike on the other side.

    Instead you had passed out from a combination of the exhaustion and the alcohol.

    Your jaw tightened at the memory, your teeth clenching so hard you could hear the blood rushing through your ears. You knew he saw the venom in your expression from the way he paused. Whatever he had expected this wasn’t it and you found yourself doing the one thing you had never dreamed of doing in this situation. You turned your back on him and walked away.


End file.
